The Girl Who Twirls

I was in the kitchen dancing and singing

Feeling so free and girly

Light as air

Sparkling and twirling around

And then you came home and looked at me with those eyes that said

Stop it

You are making a fool of yourself

Get yourself together

Shrink, get smaller

You are embarrassing yourself

But it was you I was embarrassing

You said all of that with just a look, a rolling of your eyes for just a second

The feeling of shame covered me like a heavy, wet blanket

Shocking me and covering me

Completely

And I shrunk into a dark place that was so

Familiar

A place I knew so well from my childhood

I felt so small, vulnerable, ashamed

The twirling girl disappeared in a minute and 

What emerged a logical, intelligent, restrained, adult woman 

But this woman was angry

I was angry

Because I knew the twirling girl was the best part of me

The happy part

The feminine part that was free to just be

Whatever she wanted to be

It has taken 5 years away from you to find the twirling girl again

But she is here now and emerges more as time goes on

I adore her

No one will ever make her shrink away again